Tag: mothers day after loss

  • Mother’s Day without Mom

    Mother’s Day without Mom

    This year is my first Mother’s Day without my mama. I have to say that the closer we get to Sunday, the more emotional I feel. See, it isn’t just her not being here physically for Mother’s Day. Last Mother’s Day was the last time that I saw my mom alive and laughing. Josh bar-b-que’d a brisket for her (by request) and the whole family came over. We laughed and joked, the kids played at her feet, she held her youngest grand babies and great-grand babies, my kids all piled in the recliner with her and I took the last photo that I have of her. Unfortunately, she didn’t have her hair done or makeup on, so I can’t post it here because I know her spirit will appear to pinch my toes like she promised! I wish that we knew that it was our last visit, the last time my babies would see her alive. I wish I had known! Had I known, I would have had my babies hug her a little harder and love on her a little longer.

    My mom with my youngest, Hayes

    Grief is a funny roller coaster. There is no way to prepare yourself for the after. The first year of firsts without them. The last few months, I’ve felt at peace. I’ve embraced my butterflies and my random pink flamingo sightings. Tonight, as I was stuck in TJ Maxx during a severe thunderstorm, it hit me! That damn roller coaster that I was climbing decided to go over the steep slope and turn me upside down. I broke down into tears because I didn’t get to buy a Mother’s Day card this year. I didn’t get to buy anything with the word mother on it, because my mama is in heaven. I was angry that I didn’t get to buy her a night gown this year, the one that I had to go to three or four different stores on opposite ends of town to find, because she only liked a certain cut that was almost impossible to locate. In the middle of the gift wrap aisle, it hit me that the last time that we were all together and happy was on this day last year.

    Saturday will mark 11 months since she gained her wings. This weekend will be hard, but I will enjoy it with my babies. I will love up on them until they tell me to stop, and then love on them a little more. I will focus on making new memories and celebrating all the years that I had with her here on earth. And mom, If your spirit is looking over my shoulder as I’m writing this through tears, please send us a butterfly on Sunday and know that we will be celebrating you here on earth.

  • Mother’s Day Ideas

    Mother’s Day Ideas

    Katie Denton Photography

    As I contemplate what I may want the hubby and my boys to get me for Mother’s day, I also have a surge of emotions that this is my first Mother’s Day without my mom. I remember going to mothers day mass every year and giving our donation for a red carnation corsage in honor of our mothers. Red for mothers who were living and white to honor those in heaven. That hit me like a ton of bricks, yall! This year would be my first year with a white carnation if our church carried on this tradition! I am so thankful that a dear friend of mine called me and told me that our family was coming over for brunch at her house for Mother’s Day. That she knew what I needed before I figured out what I needed because she has been there, and is there herself. Ultimately, being a mother is the best gift
    however, if my husband was inclined to get me anything, well here is what I would like. (ahem, Josh…. take notes)

    • I have to say that ultimately, the majority of us just want to sleep in late and wake up to a clean house. I don’t care if my kids are bickering, I just want the day off from cleaning and laundry.
    • A gift certificate from my favorite med spa for that VI peel that I have been putting off for the last three years. My last baby gave me melasma on my face and I have acne scarring from my teen years that I would love to attempt to get rid of. Plus, thirty something mamas want the OK to buy good wrinkle cream or splurge on facials and peels!!
    • This gorgeous mother Mary pendant from All the Wire. I love that Mary pendants are trending this season. I would seriously wear this pendant daily.
    • This gorgeous Gold Soul stack from Luca & Dani. I was gifted the Cardinal bracelet and I fell in love with it. I love looking down at my wrist knowing that my guardian angel is always with me.
    • This butterfly pendant from Free People. I love that it is made out of Mother of Pearl. I think anything Mother of Pearl is a classic and timeless symbol of motherhood. It is also my mama’s birthstone as well as my firstborn’s birthstone so it has an even more sentimental meaning.
    • A mommy&me or a family photo session! Seriously, I will never turn down a photo session with someone else behind the camera to capture memories of our family. Always get in the picture! Someday, those pictures will mean the world to your kids and grand kids.
    • ANYTHING HANDMADE BY MY CHILDREN! I love little tokens that they make for me. I treasure them dearly and love to look back on the things that they have created for me during all different stages of their life warms my heart.

    Lastly, if your mama is nearby and you are able to hug her neck, give her a huge squeeze on Mother’s Day! You never know how many more you will have with her. If this last year has taught me anything, its to sit back and be present. Create those memories, say what you feel, give your kids experiences, and be present. One day all that will be left will be memories so make sure they are some good ones. To all of my readers out there who will be without their mama this year, you are not alone and I will be thinking of you!

    xoxo-

    Mitzi